NATASHA SINGH | 18 JULY, 2017
NEW DELHI: The international media is going frenetic about a book The Muslimah Sex Manual: A Halal Guide to Mind Blowing Sex by Umm Muladhat (Author) that is clearly a pseudonym. Released last week this book is making the headlines in all major publications with the author who has put it all out there being compared to a Muslim Belle De Jour.
Muladhat says that the idea came to her two years ago when she was congratulating a young Muslim woman on her engagement, who was excited and thrilled about starting a married life. But “a few months later, I could tell something was wrong.” And when cajoled to state the reasons she admitted that she had a horrible sex life.
“In fact, it was fast becoming non-existent. She had been a model Muslimah her entire life. Before marriage, she had never so much as held a non-mahram’s hand, let alone become physically intimate with one. She had eagerly looked forward to marriage as a chance to finally indulging in all the physical intimacy she had postponed for the sake of Allah. But it wasn’t working.”
And the author realised that while she knew the biology of sex, she did not know sex. “Oh, she knew the mechanics. But she didn’t know how to make her husband yearn for her in bed. She didn’t know what he liked. She didn’t even know what she liked! They had begun eagerly but after a few weeks, realized that neither of them was truly enjoying having sex with each other,” Muladhat says.
“And so began my impromptu sex skills workshop. I threw at her all the information I’d gathered over years of marriage. Things I’d learned from experience, tidbits I’d gleaned from friends, tips I’d picked up from magazine articles. One thing here, two things there. All those bits had accumulated into a very healthy and robust sex life between me and my husband. I gave her everything, fervently hoping that it would help her in her marital life.” Maladhat writes.
And a month later met the girl again with a huge smile on her face, and a request that she write down all the advise and share it with other Muslim girls. “No one teaches this. We’re thrown into marriage and only know the fiqh and the biology,”she said. So the author says she wrote it down and sent it to the girl who then shared it with her friends, and thus emerged the book that is now set to take the world by storm.
Judging from just the list of contents the book is an in your face manual that explores sexuality along with practical advise to make it clear to Muslim couples that it is perfectly reasonable for both the man and woman to enjoy sex. It gives details as the contents list alone indicates with the chapters divided into: 5 Myths about Muslim sex; The anatomy of male and female genitalia; Body image issues;Genital hygiene;Birth Control;Kissing: How to give a massage:How to do a strip-tease and many far more graphic chapters that deal with handjobs, sexting, dry humping.
The Guardian has spoken to the author, who has said that while she initially flirted with using her real name she decided against it because of the expected backlash. She is an American born psychology graduate, and much of her book is based on her own experience and of friends. Initial responses from Muslim women recorded by the foreign newspapers has been very encouraging, with many going on record to say that it is time that sex is brought out of the closet.
Muladhat says that she is now receiving dozens of emails from men to write a book on how they could please their wives in bed. As she says, "I've taken that into consideration and plan to write a follow-up if this book is successful." Well she need have no doubts on that, it is moving fast into the best seller list.